It is better to give than receive

The Chinese concept of  Yin and Yang can be viewed in many areas of our lives. The balance of light and dark, day and night, acid and alkaline, positive and negative. . The belief that two opposite forces can balance each other out is best explained with the concept of Yin and Yang

Relationships on any level is a dance of energy looking for equilibrium, that delicate point where both energies are in balance.  Many of our human encounters follow this energy path, givers tend to attract takers, takers seek givers.

Thought of as an energy dance is it easy to see the programming that makes people be drawn into relationships. Someone who is geared towards being a giver, exudes a lot of nurturing energy, bait for the takers with their deep emotional/mental scars. Ever wondered why some of your friends were attracted to each other? Look at who is the nurturer and who is the taker. One is no better  or less than the other. It is simply nature trying to find balance.

If we give too much, nature has a way of finding a way to balance the energy. In comes the taker to bring things back to centre. The giver needs the taker as much as the taker requirers a giver. 

When a giver or taker can not find a match they persecute  another to bring the dance back to centre.  How many relationships have we seen where one party becomes tired of the game and wants out. People have been emotionally. mentally and physically abused each other to hold the status quo.

Givers give to much creating an energy imbalance.

Takers take too much creating an energy imbalance.

When they come together the imbalance balance out, we have equilibrium. If the two parties are happy to play their roll, the balance is maintained. When one or both parties chose to change the energy imbalance  is re-established.

To break the pattern the giver needs to learn to consider their own needs more and the taker needs to consider others more. when we can achieve a balance of 50/50 our relationships and our lives become more harmonious.

When we look at any form of abuse and seek out the energy balance that goes on it is easier to address the problems in the relationship. Many givers and takers are addicted to their programme and find it difficult to change. This is one reason both men and women return repeatedly to abusive relationships.

Givers can be just as abusive as takers in trying to maintain their control and old programming.

Look at your own life, do you give too much and take to little or vice versa. Generally it is harder to the taker as their scars are deep and painful. This can also be true of the giver, however they tend to be more empathic and feel everyone else’s pain.

I have for some time watched the interplay between two women. Both have their own stories and both trigger each others wounds, yet continually are drawn together. The anger and hatred at times is palatable, neither recognises the gift the other is offering. Once they go within the energy dance and see their own place the game will be up. The wounds can begin to heal.

Another example, recently i became involved with someone who was clearly a giver, we chatted for well over an hour about, kayaking, life, their profession. Throughout the thread of her underlying issue was evident, she was a giver, tired of giving. When the time was right i asked her a simple question. She took a little while to grasp the siignificence of the words.  At last the lights went on and she realised the problem was her inability to receive, to take for herself.

Every person that comes into our life is a gift, those that draw out our darkness are the one’s who help us grow the most.