Our relationships are a wonderful way to expose our beliefs and attitudes about love and fear. Most of our interactions have more fear than love. We think and feel we love another people until they stop doing what we want then the fall out of love or stop seeing the best in them.

When we are in love we are sometimes blind to the other persons behaviours, we would not normally accept. When the lust or the emotional charge reduces we begin to see the faults and possibly worse, start focusing on those attributes. It is a slippy slope from here. Once we start, all the other little niggles begin to surface, we start searching for, and focusing on what we don’t like.

Focus is a powerful tool, when we focus on the things we don’t like we begin to see more and more. Our mind is collecting more negative information to support the belief; we no longer like or love that person.

If we stopped and consciously began to focus on the person’s positives with a lot of work sometimes we can begin to see the good things about them.

When we look for negatives we see negatives and invite all their friends to the party.

When we look for something good, we begin to see other good points.

This does not mean overlooking negative traits like an abusive partner or staying with someone who is mistreating us or love ones. It is not sensible to stay in a situation where we do not love ourselves or the other person.

Many times relationships begin to disintegrate because we begin to feel bad in ourselves and blame the other person. Next we start to focus on the negatives and bit by bit we look for more negatives until no matter what the person does all we see is the things we don’t like. They may not be any different; we simply stopped seeing their good points.