Maybe it’s the super moon, who knows? The last few days i have felt myself in that downward spiral into the playground of negativity. No matter what i did i simply could not get into a feeling space, i was locked up in my head. More than likely it is the result of the intense energy that has been going into writing Kissing the Black Dog. The research, double checking facts and then high energy bursts of inspired writing, 5000 words in one sitting.

Whatever it was i knew it was not feeling right, i was tired, frustrated and becoming unmotivated. Not  a great place to be any time but especially when one is trying to put one book to bed and start two more.  I just could not shake the  vibe. Even friends overseas we sensing it as we chatted. It was annoying me, which was not helping.

Gratitude, was not going to happen, you had to be joking, i was angry, annoyed and locked into negativity. Nothing appeared to be helping and the spiral seemed to be moving faster. I was up early and headed down to the SS Dicky at Caloundra, thinking maybe being out photographing would help. Ended up and average sunrise with less that impressive pics. Next off to Kawana Lake Farmers Market, had a chat to some friends, but that niggling feeling was still active. I left feeling i would end up saying something to someone that was probably better not said.

Headed across to Currimundi Nature Reserve to try and photograph some birds. They all kept their distance, i did manage some cooperative Banskia seed heads. The wonderful thing about plants they do not move far and have very little to say and generally are very tolerant.

Walking through the bush inwardly fuming, one of those pivotal moments hit like a flash of lightening. If was if an angel came down especially to firmly caress my forehead with a slegdehammer. Whammo, Feel Good Now felt like the words were imprinted into my forehead. So simply, so damn simple, how often i use those words. From that moment on i just chose feelings and thought s that made me feel good right there, right now.

At home later the spiral began to wind up, this time i decided to use the energy, so i started to let rip, get angry. I swore, i cursed, i ranted and raved, i worked up a full head of steam and then, that exquisite moment – the instant when it begins. It comes from the corner, both corners and erupts in the centre, that dry wry smile of acknowledgement. That beautiful divine feeling when we are carried across the chasm of mediocrity and deposited gently in Heartspace. That space that gratitude is all one can feel.

Writing became a breeze after a long hot magnesium bath and the perpetual smile. Love does live on the other side of fear for most of us, yet so many are afraid. The chasm scares us and the limiting beliefs we have fostered or had inflicted upon us create the negative self talk and supports the belief that we can’t do it or we are not good enough, natter, natter, natter and on it goes.
Messages come in three forms. The first, a gentle whisper in our ear as a dove alights on our shoulder to deliver it’s gift.

Step two the size 11 boot up the posterior or the sledgehammer between the eyes. Really this is the one where we should yet it, the next is a full speed Mack Truck and whammy, it lays us flat. I highly recommend going for option one.

Our willingness to do what it takes and to listen to our intuition will always lead us back to love. I am extremely grateful for the last couple of days, i have learned a valuable lesson which helps me and now i can share with others. It also shows what i have been writing about works, and fast when applied.

Too much time in headspace without a good operating manual and an auto correct that takes me back to heartspace. is not a great idea. Need to update the software and setup that auto correct.

Never experienced that exquisite moment of total gratitude or too afraid to leave the shore to discover love and all it magic. Contact me, maybe i can help.