We seem to spend to much of our lives caring what other people think and wasting a lot of energy and time. There is a high chance those from whom we seek approval, attention or acceptance, do not really care about us anyway.
The answer may be as simple as we all need to feel important. It seems to be one of the baseline drivers in our lives. We trade our mind, bodies and soul to others to validate our existance, instead of going straight to home base.
When we can value our own existance we may begin to release the chains of bondage to other people’s opinions and become who we are meant to be. Having a goal or working within our own value perimeters may be the best way forward.
What is important to you? Work it out and focus all your attention on achieving that goal. This will help give us the confidence and courage to keep going and let the thoughts and beliefs of others slip away.
With the release of Kissing the Black Dog i have been doing a lot of talks with different groups. Some of the male dominated groups have been coverly rude and disinterested, even when the information may save their lives. I am learning to deliver the speech and not get caught up in whether or not they listened, whether the liked me or if the meassage had any traction. At first i found it hard, now i am finding it easier, i am freeing myself from worrying about their opinions. I can now move to a Care, but not that much position.
People who proudly state they do not care what people think usually care the most. The statement is a reaction to their underlying need. Being able to recognise and come up with solutions will help to make the statement more real.
Being loved, adored, cherished is a basic need as a human. I think that would be fair to say. Some people avoid relationships out of bad experiences in the past. This is not a solution, it is a coverup for the pain. Dealing with the suppressed pain can help us move on and start to allow ourselves to be appreciated, even if we have to do it all for ourselves at first.
Ever notice that when we are feeling good, we attract more of the same, when we are needy we attract more neediness.
Making the effort to look for the gold within ourselves and see the good in balance with what we do not like, we bring ourselves back into balance.
Start today, actually right now, think of one good aspect of yourself. Then find another. If that is to hard think of something negative and look for the benefit of having it. This can be really interesting when we can turn perceived negatives into constructive feedback.
If you are stuck in the rut of worrying about other people’s opinions it might be time for a Motivational Kinesiology session ( in clinic or via skype) or to read Kissing the Black Dog.
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