Doubt is one of the issues covered in my book Kissing the Black Dog and i would like to share how insidious and easily it can under mine our self belief and inner worth.

Recently i experienced first hand the Power Of Doubt.  I was not doing what someone wanted. They pulled one of the tricks from the Narcissistic  playbook,  the  No one likes you, they think bah bah bah.  I did not notice until two days later my inner chatter was being directed to validating myself and running an inner dialogue trying to convince myself and the imagined others that I was Ok and people liked me.

I beamed as the smile of recognition eased across my face. It was so funny to listen to myself desperately try and convince my now imagined foe it was not true.

The trick  worked they had been able to manipulate me to undermining myself and triggering a deeply held belief in being powerless. Most of use run this programme, it has been re-enforced through our lives by parents, family, friends, teachers, the education system and religion to name a few. It usually lies hidden until someone tries to manipulate us and bang – there it is. It comes quietly at first, sending limiting disempowering thoughts through our neural pathways, firing up the neurotransmitters and releasing the negative chemical cocktail. Pretty soon we are under the spell of our own self limiting beliefs and acting as if they are real.

Writing Kissing the Black Dog has made me more aware and this time i recognised the negative thinking and how it had been triggered. It took some time and effort to stop this out of control train from doing anymore damage.

Step One was to recognise I was doing it to myself. Yes the other person had been deliberate and calculating in their attempt to gain the upper hand, simply because all people who play these games are themselves struggling with the demons of their own victimisation. Reality is we always do it to ourselves, we and only we control our thoughts. Yes most people submit their freedom to the idiot box and a multitude of other enslaving technologies or to please others, this however is a choice.

Step Two was to  come up with a raft of creative solutions. I found several strategies that focussed my attention off the issue and back onto feeling empowered. The aim is to distract ourselves away from the problem and onto feeling empowered. For many this is really difficult because the people who we gave our power to were very important in our lives, fathers, mothers, siblings, lovers, husbands, wives, etc, and we want their love.

Step Three is to refer back to Step Two, continue to choose our feelings, thoughts and actions until they become hard wired in.

The negative thoughts, feelings and reactions are an option, although it may not seem that way when we are stuck in that space.  Focussing on Feeling Good Now, choosing only empowering thoughts and actions and staying focussed on being the best we can be will overtime help us deal with the persistence demon of negativity we have embraced and nurtured up until now.

Love it, transmute it and be the best we can all be.

Doubt leads to depression, anxiety and can be a key factor in all stress related issues. Dr Corrine Allen expresses the opinion we are all suffering Post Traumatic Stress and emotional and mental stress are harmful. Every action we can take to reduce our stress load will help us recover our equilibrium.

Contact me to order your copy of Kissing the Black Dog.