Within all of us is an inability or resistance to change. For some it is small and not really a block to our personal development. To others it is a massive ball of negative energy, ruling and controlling our lives. When we let cognitive discordance, or as it is better known unwillingness or stubbornness into the driver seat, failure will trip us every turn. We will continually snatch failure from the jaws of success.
Physiological Reversal is another name for the unwillingness thought virus. What it comes down to at the basic level is our fears are outweighing our desires. Our limitations are easier to live with than pushing through the resistance and lies of our lives, grasping the key to our freedom and unlocking the chains of our own slavery.
Slavery is on the rise, some report there are more slaves in the world than ever before. Debt is a socially acceptable form of slavery, we sign our lives away for trinkets or symbols of success or prestige in many cases to suppress our hidden fears
When we are unwilling to learn, unwilling to change we begin the slippery downward slip into the destructive vortex of negativity and self destruction. It may take a life time but you will succeed in ruining our lives. We begin to build a fantasy, an illusion of who we are and what we are capable of achieving. The limitations and restrictions mount and our self worth suffers. We lock ourselves into who or what we think we are and loose sight of our true potential.
I hear the myths and lies all the time, “I am not angry”, “I am always happy”. On the mistruths go. Within each of us is the full gamut of human emotions – all of them. We all get angry, scared, intolerant, inflexible, etc. The moment we try and spin the Bull that we are such and such we lose the ability to recognise and heal the hurt and pain.
Unwillingness can be the refusal to heal because our belief that the pain is to great, or that we seek pleasure without pain. Life on this planet, at this time is dualistic, it has two sides. Pleasure and pain, happiness and sadness, good and bad.
The refusal to accept the full gamut of your emotional palette drives many into the realm of “mental illness” when in fact the real issue lies with an unwillingness to change or learn.
Spirituality and religion has played it part in disempowering many people. The myth that we are supposed to be or act a certain way reduces our emotional palette from a rainbow to monochrome. Jesus was not adverse to kicking over a few tables and losing it in the temple, so why should you suppress or deny your anger, or unreleased creative energy your frustrations.
” I am not…….”, I am not capable of doing that…..” is a lie, a dirty big dishonest fib we pull on ourselves to protect us from the discomfort of being honest.
Recently I spoke at my old high school. Afterwards as I was preparing to speak at the local library I started chatting with a couple of the school students. One bright young lady made this statement ” “when you started I were really arrogant, but by the end i loved it.” I smiled at her honesty and took on board the arrogant part, because in truth I can be. I gave it some thought and made and effort to be mindful of slipping into that mindset.
An unwilling person would of handled this differently, they would blame the person, accuse them, deny their ability to express that emotion. We are more than we can imagine ourselves to be, we do not know what we do not know.
Another aspect of cognitive discordance, physiological reversal or unwillingness shows up in so called learning and behavioural issues. Imagine, if you can we are a sponge and due to all the stress and mistruths we have accumulated that sponge is nearly saturated with negativity. When life presents us with more stress our little brain short circuits, we blow a fuse and cannot think or feel in a coherent manner. The system has overloaded. In these cases it is important for us to notice and find a way to reduce our stress or remove ourselves from the situation. Trying to continue in situations like this is going to lead to problems. It is something all teachers, trainers, parents and educators need to fully comprehend.
The world and western society is in decay today for a simple reason, too many of us are unwilling to change, unwilling to admit it is not working or we made a mistake. Too many of us lack the courage to face up and admit we are part of the problem and there is no Calvary coming over hill, no man with a white beard dropping down from heaven to sort our the shit we should have done ourselves.
Unwillingness to change/learn takes many forms, recently I was speaking to a bulldozer driver and he was mentioning his daughter was in an domestic violence situation. What distressed him the most was he would go and rescue her, take her home and within three weeks she would go back into a situation which was dangerous for her and her children. What deeply held belief systems drove her firstly place her children at risk and secondly herself? Something deep within drives her, some resistance to change or fear of lose makes her stay. Only she knows the answer, if she was to face the facts.
In another discussion a truck driver told me of his run in with depression and anxiety. I smiled when he looked me in the eye and honestly admitted everything changed for him when he realised tat was not who he was. He became willing to learn and willing to change. He pulled himself out of the hole.
When we are willing to accept change, willing to learn, am capable of dealing with life as fully functioning human we have a chance to make a difference in our own lives and the lives of those around us. The truly great leaders embrace change, us disruptive thought patterns or behaviours to better any situation.
