Love Is All You Need
Many relationships fail or never completely reach your full potential due to a misunderstanding or lack of understanding or interest in the other person’s way of being loved. Graeme Chapman’s wonderful book The Five Love Languages has helped many relationships, from personal to business unlock the hidden keys for successful relating.
It is well worth doing the online test to discover your Love Languages and what makes you tick. It is easy to believe we know what works for us. Recently I re-did the test and was surprised at what my real languages were. I had always thought it was one thing and now I know it is completely different. After looking the results I began to recognise where I was making mistakes when relating with others. I was operating from a false sense of self and my needs and wondered why tension would build with other people.
When we know our own languages and we make the effort to understand other people’s position, the quality of our interconnections strengthen. Confusion easily leads to mistrust.
Sometimes people will annoy us as they act out their own Love language and we do not understand why we react the way we do. If, for example your love language is Words of Affirmation and your friend, partner, colleagues, language is Touch we may feel unappreciated and uncomfortable. Taking the time to know ourselves and the other person we can better manage the situation. If it is a personal relationship we can address the issue by talking and communicating honesty so both parties can find a way to express and receive the Love they desire.
Words of Affirmation can be connected to one of the Six Primary Fears, Criticism. This will amplify the problem to the point where leaving a relationship is an option, instead of working it out.
Love is at the core of most people’s interaction, when we feel it is missing we withdrawn or move on, sometimes missing the opportunity to create something special, once the misunderstanding are discovered and rectified our relationships can deepen and mature into something special.
