Sitting in a coffee shop this morning chatting with a client about her goals. As she wrote them down she made an interesting comment about the two primary areas of her life. They were in conflict.

She wanted love but saw that is not possible to have a loving relationship and the lifestyle she wanted. At first she could not  hear the opposite views she was holding. There was a pattern of trading or giving up love for the house, car and the lifestyle. Sound familiar?

Having all the material things were not making her happy but the fear of not having them was stronger than  having a loving relationship. One was always traded for the other, yet she had not seen the pattern.

The question then turned to why could she not have both?   It took some soul searching for her to come to a place that she could see what she was doing to herself without realising or being aware.

The conversation then changed to the options and the decision was made to discuss the opportunities that her and her current “friend” had available to them. She had tried to do it all on her own out of past experiences of being let down.

The way was open for her to begin to trust and allow someone to become emotionally close for the first time in many years.

How often do we all think we want one thing and yet our real aspirations and dreams are something else?

There is a simple question what stops most people in their tracks because it one the one  question they have been unwilling or unable to ask. Knowing how to ask it and knowing how to hear the right answer is the key.