Showing true recognition and gratitude is not something that comes easy to many people. I can already hear the yelps of Yes I do or I always acknowledge people. No you don’t, even if we may think we do.

How often are we with someone physically and our brain and thoughts are globe trotting?

When someone does something do we really appreciate their effort or just pay token gratitude?

How often when someone gives a speech or presentation do we chap, simply because it is the polite thing to do?

This being polite is a sneaky. underhanded way to steal energy. It is part of our own inferiority complex dressed up as superiority. Did you know that having a superiority complex is nothing more than a deep seated fear of not being good enough, of knowing you are inferior and pretending to be OK.

Coming from a place of gratitude can change your life. At first you will feel awkward, uncomfortable and a phoney.  Several years back i read  Be Bold – the power f praise by Susan Mitchell. I began to put into practice her tips. It came across cheesy, unreal and a touch tacky. I persevered. Yesterday i was sending some copies of Kissing the Black Dog at the Post Office. As i walked out i commented on the dress a woman was wearing. She stopped looked up, after a couple of seconds this beautiful smile shone from her. My awkwardness had gone and has been replaced with a generosity of spirit.

Our desperate hunger to feel important governs our lives. It makes us crave acknowledgement in a multitude of different ways, some obvious, some deceptively clever. We can not give too much recognition to others, simply because their will not be enough for us. We all in some way suffer from a poverty of spirit. We either take as much as we can to fill ourselves or give too much in the hope we will be accepted.

Having the attitude of Care, but not that much can work for us both ways.

Imagine being on stage and receiving an award or recognition and no cheers?

Now imagine standing there and every single person is one their feet and from their hearts and clapping and honouring you?

Would that inspire you do try harder, o better next time?

We all want that feeling.

Something i am sure i have done  and i see regularly online is someone will post a comment. Instead of supporting the post many of us hijack it to promote their own importance and steal energy from the original post. Now i am more aware of recognition i smile when i go to hi-jack the thread. Normally i simply delete what i was going to say and find a way to write something that aligns with the original theme. Everyone needs their 15 seconds of fame.

Giving recognition has an interesting Return on Investment. The more you give the move  you receive and the more we can give to ourselves. That is the key to recognition, to reach a point where we can recognise ourselves, honour our values and be a recognition donor, as opposed to a stealer.

Now that Kissing the Black Dog is out and selling, i have had people come back with so much glee and delight pointing out the mistakes they may have found. Never a single word of praise. Now i understand they see no value in themselves so it is impossible to give praise to anyone else. There is simply no enough praise in the tank to share.

If we must point out someone’s negative try the feedback sandwich. Say something constructive, present the problem. Finish with something affirmative. It is more gentle and the person is more likely to listen.

The best teachers i have ever to practice the Art of Recognition are dogs. They make us feel so important, they are gifted in the Art of Recognition.

Dale Carneige’s How to Win Friends and Influence People is a gem to help us remember, generosity of spirit.

Renee Descarte was misguided when he preached that the body is a machine. Machines, to my knowledge do not display emotions. Humans are not logical creature, we are a machinations of messed up emotions and thoughts. We all need to be gentle with ourselves and others.

Next time we are at a presentation, instead of sitting there clapping, rise to your feet, look the person in the eyes and from the heart thank them. We both win.