Relationships are delicate things, they need nurturing, thoughtfulness, mindfulness and consideration to grow and prosper. Some come naturally, others seem a struggle. Each in it’s own way is a gift. Sometimes it is the one’s that challenge us that make us look at ourselves which in time bring out the best in us.

We have relationships in many forms, a smile or a frown at a stranger, our families, lovers, co workers, the barman, the check out chick. Each person we interact with forms some type of relationship.

A great guide to the type of person we are is the way we treat strangers.

Criticising is one of the best ways to devalue and hurt other people. It puts us into a power over mindset. We have no respect for ourselves so inflict our negativity onto others. Anyone who criticises is in pain. Their inner demons are well fed, yet hungry to devour any chance of loving blossoming in our lives. Criticising is a definite if we want to build a firewall around ourselves.

Blame is another gem for keeping love and healthy relationships at bay. Blame is no more than cowardice, the inability to stand up and be honest about our own lot. We project our fears and limitations onto everyone else and blame them for the mess that is our own lives. Of course we are unwilling to accept the problem is really ours. It is so much easier to put the responsibilities squarely in the court of everyone else.

Picking faults or focusing on the negative will win us lots of friends, not. Most people want to feel valued and appreciated. Finding and recognising their faults is going to hurt them, it builds walls between people. It is surprising how common this programming is. Couples will constantly attack each other by focussing on what they do not like about their partner instead of looking for the gold. We inflict pain to reduce the baggage they are carrying.

Revenge for our own pain, is easier than leaving, moving on towards a healthier loving situation.

Lies is an absolute winner in destroying relationships. Lies can also keep unhealthy relationships alive. Honesty would be to confronting for an unhealthy relationship to survive. Dishonesty is high up there. Treating someone way to there face then talking about them behind their back is toxic. If and when they find out a wedge is driving between people. Wile dishonesty is socially acceptable, the truth as has been said many times in many ways shall set you free. Honest people respect honesty, dishonest people are terrified of it.

There are many more contributing factors to relationships breakdowns. All relationships prosper when we focus on the best in others.